Confessions of a Sunflower

she loves me,

she loves me not,

she loves me,

she loves me not,

she loves me,

she loves me,

she loves me,

she loves me not.

after plucking the last of my petals,

choking out thre last of my breaths,

allowing the truth to settle

fate provides a soliloquy resembling the love of Romeo and Juliet --

spilling the poison of sadness upon my happiness.

she loves me not.

foolish to think the sun would shine forever,

when forever itself doesn't exist,

hoping to stop hoping,

like an addict seeking no treatment.

snorting each lie,

taking it straight to the head,

each day believing,

that my love will return and lay her sorrows upon my bed.

kissing every infliction

caused by her vacancy.

she loves me .

truth be told she had to leave,

life gave her a choice,

red pill,

or blue pill.

not understand the difference she took them both

a confliction.

stuck between a reality and our vision.

she loves me not.

I waited.

and she waited.

we waited.

struggling and sacrificing,

fighting and holding on

to our future.

she loves me.

so connected

she could feel the vibrations of my heart when I was near.

no need to speak;

she could hear my contemplations without my verbalization,

and I had the answers to all her questions.

I was the x to every equation that equaled infinity,

because it was us,

infinitely.

she loves me.

together, rich with no money

we taught each other how to live.

never afraid of life,

and at the end of the night apologizing for what we did.

prideful towards the world,

but unpretentious within closed walls.

she could see my wounds,

and I could touch hers;

we were one.

she loves me

the mistake occurred when

I asked God to help me grow

in order to create the perfect union.

I was expecting roses and chocolates to be laid upon our bed

as a symbol of our love.

instead we got a bouquet of sunflowers.

Not knowing that my yearning for growth would be the key,

that would unlock the door,

and let us caged birds free.

free, from each other.

-- because we fell in love.

then we fell apart.

she loves me not.

Foolish to think

She loves me

Foolish to think

She loves me not

Foolish to think

she loves me

She loves me

She loves me

Foolish to think

she love me not.

I am not a rose,

the promise of ever lasting love doesn't apply to me,

in the white box I checked not.

she love me.

-- she loves me not.